THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR BORED
-Go to dagimp.org
-Wax the ceiling 
-Rearrange political campaign signs 
-Sharpen your teeth 
-Play Houdini with one of your siblings 
-Braid your dog's hair 
-Clean and polish your belly button 
-Water your dog...see if he grows 
-Wash a tree 
-Knight yourself  
-Scare Stephen King 
-Go to an XXX website
-Give your cat a mohawk 
-Purr 
-Mow your carpet 
-Learn how be become a hacker
-Play Pat Boone records backwards 
-Vacuum your lawn 
-Whine 
-Rake your carpet 
-Re-elect Richard Nixon 
-Listen to a painting 
-Play with matches 
-Buff your cat 
-Race ferrets 
-Paint your house...Day-Glo Orange 
-Have a formal dinner at White Castle 
-Read Homer in the original Greek 
-Change your mind 
-Learn Greek 
-Change it back 
-Watch the sun...see if it moves 
-Stand on your head 
-Build a pyramid 
-Stand on someone else's head 
-Spit shine your Nikes 
-See how long you can stay awake 
-Paint your teeth 
-See how long you can sleep 
-Wear a salad 
-Speak with a forked tongue 
-Get your dog braces 
-Shave a shrub 
-Have a proton fight 
-Watch a car rust 
-Quiver 
-Rotate your carpet 
-Learn to type...with your toes 
-Set up your Christmas tree in April 
-Buy the Brooklyn Bridge 
-Be someone special 
-Mail it to a friend 
-Go back to square one 
-Factor your social security number 
-Take the fifth 
-Memorize a series of random numbers 
-Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages 
-Join the Foreign Legion 
-Learn Sanskrit 
-Exist...existentially, of course 
-Print counterfeit Confederate money 
-Kick a cabbage 
-Take a picture 
-Sandpaper a mushroom 
-Put it back 
-Play solitaire...for cash 
-Abuse your patio furniture 
-Run for Pope 
-Count to a million...fast 
-Make a schematic drawing...of a rock 
-Commit seppuku...with a paper knife 
-Revert -Think shallow thoughts 
-Sleep on a bed of nails -Boil ice cream 
-DON'T toss and turn 
-Run around in squares 
-Think of quadruple entendres 
-Speak in acronyms 
-Have your pillow X-rayed 
-Drink straight shots...of water 
-Calmly have a nervous breakdown 
-Give your goldfish a perm 
-Fly a brick 
-Play tag...on 35W 
-Exorcise a ghost 
-Be blue 
-Exercise a ghost 
-Be red 
-Paint stripes on a lake 
-But don't be orange 
-Ski Kansas 
-Sleep in freefall 
-Kill a Joule 
-Test thin ice...with a pogo stick 
-Apply for a unicorn hunting license 
-Do a good job 
-Crawl 
-Paint your windows 
-Watch a watch until it stops 
-Flash your goldfish 
-Paint 
-Flirt with an evergreen 
-Smile 
-Rotate your garden...daily 
-Paint a smile 
-Shoot a fire hydrant 
-Pretend you're blind 
-Apologize to it 
-Plant a shoe 
-Sweat 
-Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil 
-Turn -Take your sofa for a walk 
-Write a letter to Plato 
-Start -Mail it 
-Stop 
-Dial 911 and breathe heavily 
-Go to a funeral...tell jokes 
-Play the piano...with mittens on 
-Starch your shoes 
-Polish your Calvin's 
-Contemplate a cockroach 
-Get a dog to chase your car 
-Investigate the Czar 
-Let him catch it 
-Form a political party 
-Climb a sidewalk 
-Have a political party 
-Get diagonal...with a good friend 
-Ride a loaf of bread 
-Sharpen a carrot 
-Interrogate a gerbil 
-Annoy yourself 
-Get mad at yourself 
-Stop speaking to yourself 
-Be a side effect 
-Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley 
-Duck 
-Redecorate...your garage 
-Develop a complex 
-Join the Army...be someone simple 
-Try harder 
-Hit the deck 
-Put legwarmers on your furniture 
-Cut the deck 
-Scheme 
-Sit 
-Water your family room 
-Stay 
-Cause a power failure 
-Roll over 
-Wriggle 
-Play dead 
-Donate your brother's body to science 
-Find a witch 
-Ask why 
-Burn her 
-Regress 
-Sleepwalk without sleeping 
-Go bow hunting for Toyotas 
-Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids 
-Jump back 
-Play to lose 
-Scalp a street light 
-Have your car painted...plaid 
-Read a tomato 
-Sharpen your sleeping skills 
-Watch a game show...take notes 
-Put out a fire 
-Interview a cloud 
-If you can't find a fire, make one 
-Play tiddlywinks...go for blood 
-Play basketball...in a minefield 
-Crumple 
-Translate Shakespeare into English 
-Skydive to church 
-Cheer up a potato 
-Do aerobic exercises...in your head 
-Play cards with your swimming pool 
-Pinstripe your driveway 
-Play Kick the Fire Hydrant 
-Harness chipmunk power 
-Build a house with ice cubes 
-Call London for a cab 
-Mug a stop sign 
-Change your name...daily 
-Go for a walk in your attic 
-Challenge your neighbor to a duel 
-Try to join Hell's Angels by mail 
-Wonder 
-Be a square root 
-Ask stupid questions 
-Weld your car doors shut 
-Spew 
-Vacation at Three-Mile Island 
-Surf Ohio 
-Teach your pet rock to play dead 
-Go bowling for small game 
-Be a monk...for a day 
-Wear a sweatband to your wedding 
-Staple 
-Run away 
-Intimidate a piece of chalk 
-Abuse the plumbing 
-Bend a florescent light 
-Bend a brick 
-Annoy total strangers 
-Don't talk to things 
-Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling 
-Have your cat bronzed 
-Have your gerbil gilded 
-Write books about writing books 
-Create random equations 
-Mispell words 
-Tell your feet a joke 
-Throw a tomato into a fan 
-Sing the ABC song backwards 
-Pretend you're a dog 
-Dial-a-prayer and argue with it 
-Grease the doorknobs 
-String up a room 
-Stack furniture 
-Relive fond memories 
-Tie your shoelaces together 
-Gargle 
-Count your teeth with your tongue 
-Decay 
-Find your half-life 
-Build a house out of toothpicks 
-Howl 
-Wear a lampshade on your head 
-Memorize the dictionary 
-Stomp grapes in the bathtub 
-Find a bug and chase it 
-Make yourself a pair of wings 
-Be immobile 
-Dance 'til you drop 
-Check under chairs for chewing gum 
-Squish a loaf of bread 
-Moo 
-Bounce a potato 
-Outmaneuver your shadow 
-Climb the walls 
-Appreciate everything 
-Challenge yourself to a duel 
-Believe in Santa Claus 
-Let the best man win 
-Throw marshmallows against the wall 
-Hold an ice cube as long as possible 
-Adopt strange mannerisms 
-Blow up a balloon until it pops 
-Sing soft and sweet and clear 
-Open everything 
-Sing loud and sour and gravelly 
-Balance a pencil on your nose 
-Pour milk in your shoes 
-Write graffiti under the rug 
-Embarass yourself 
-Grind your teeth 
-Chew ice 
-Count your belly button 
-Sit in a row 
-Stack crumbs 
-Gesture 
-Save your toenail clippings 
-Make a pass at your blender 
-Punt 
-Make up words that start with X 
-Make oatmeal in the bathtub 
-Search for the Lost Chord 
-Chew on a sofa cushion 
-Sing a duet 
-Balance a pillow on your head 
-Hold your breath 
-Faint -Stretch 
-Flash your mailman 
-Teach your TA English 
-Learn to speak Farsi 
-Swear in Russian 
-Use an eraser until it goes away 
-Disassemble your car 
-Record your walls 
-Put it together inside out 
-Interview your feet 
-Make a list of your favorite fungi 
-Sell formaldehyde 
-Make napalm 
-Tattoo your dresser 
-Watch a bowling ball 
-Buy some diapers 
-Eat everything 
-Begin 
-Pour milk in the sink 
-Make cottage cheese 
-Tie-dye your sheets 
-Hold your earlobes 
-Carpet your ceiling 
-Fold your earlobes 
-Flap 
-Squak 
-Read tea leaves 
-Analyze the Koran 
-Be Buddah 
-Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize 
-Plug in the cat 
-Turn on everything 
-Drop pebbles down the chimney 
-Turn off your neighbor 
-Kill a plant 
-Buy a 1931 Almanac 
-Memorize the weather section 
-Think lewd thoughts about yourself 
-Peel grapes 
-Send chills down your spine 
-Make paper from the skins 
-Blow bubbles 
-Bloat 
-Get run over by a train of thought 
-Make up famous sayings 
-Bite your pinkie 
-File your teeth 
-Design a better toilet seat 
-Shred a newspaper 
-Scratch 
-Have a headache 
-Sniff 
-Hatch an egg 
-Play air guitar 
-Spill 
-Act profound 
-Spell 
-Stare 
-Truncate 
-Slouch 
-Develop hearing problems 
-Put your feet behind your head 
-Tie bows in everything 
-Hold your hand 
-Watch the minute hand move 
-Grow your fingernails 
-Pretend you're a telephone 
-Ring
-Radiate 
 -Skip 
-Play hopscotch...with real scotch 
-Clock the velocity of your REMs 
-Put your shoes on the opposite feet 
-Cross your toes 
-Roll your tongue 
-Crystalize 
-Baby oil the floor 
-Hide 
-Attack innocent bunnies 
-Declare war 
-Destroy a tree 
-Hide the scrabble bag 
-Seduce your stick shift 
-Wink 
-Memorize the periodic table 
-Mummify 
-Pretend you're a roadie 
-Buy a Ginsu knife 
-Collect electrons 
-Correct typos that aren't there 
-Polish your neck...use Pledge
-Loosen the lug nuts on your fathers car
-Check this hilarious site out